Toronto

Toronto done.  Yesterday, so full, busy.  Started at 4:30 am PST.  My first library visit was at the Parkdale branch.  I arrived 40 minutes early.  (Of course!  After skidding in 7 minutes late the night before, I shall be embarrassingly early for the next little while.  Paranoia in full bloom) I introduced myself so they’d know I was here and then found myself a comfy chair, tucked into a corner and tried to wake up.  Pamela (Tundra publicist) arrived and it was really nice to see her.  It’s funny how that happens.  When I first met her, I was surprised as we’d only interacted over the email and I’d had a very different image in my head.  You are thrown together, a cautious sort of formal/informal business kind of thing.  Polite questions, eyes not quite catching.  But at Parkdale, after sharing the evening before, it feels like there is something more, a possible friendship starting, a warmth, a letting in.  I can’t remember what was said, but I remember the laugh, the happy feeling in my belly.  The children arrived and watching them file in, I knew it was going to be special. 

I read several pieces, they wanted me to read more.  I did.  When I was finished I started the usual, “Any questions?” A boy’s hand shot into the air.  “Yes,” I asked.
“Could you read that again!”
I couldn’t have felt more loved. 
We talked and laughed and talked some more.  These kids, I just wanted to gobble them up.  Their enthusiasm and delight.  When we were done and the children were crowding around, hugs from kids you’d never expect one from.  One boy, “Are you going to write more books?”
“Yes.”
“Good!” His face, excited, determined, something he needs to get out.  “Will you put me in the next one?  Joey.  My name’s Joey.  Please write about me.” And I’m oddly moved by this request.  By the expression on his face.  I can’t promise, but I store it in my mind files because maybe I can.  I LOVED those kids.

Lunch with Kathy, Pamela, Cary and Rebbecca.  We go to a restaurant that my daughter had discovered when she’s lived here.  I recognized it as we walked up and was happy.  It was like I was there with these people, but memories of Emily were at the table as well.  I had Hungarian Goulash and ordered a raspberry soda.  Another little Emily hello, because she’d ordered one when we had come and I had taken a sip.  It was a happy thing, this restaurant, the raspberry soda, the past and the present mingling. 

The subject of brain scans came up.  A close friend of someone had just gotten one with a bad result.  Brain tumor.  And I thought about this last month, my own health scare, going for my first colour contrast cat-scan.  Trying to keep the worst case scenario at bay.  The relief when the doctor told me, it came back clear.  And now, sitting in the restaurant, hearing of someone else, imagining them going through what I did, with different words coming out of the doctors mouth.  I felt for her.

Time for the next reading.  Cary navigated the subway system, I followed, relieved not to have to be vigilant and in charge.

A huge library.  A ton of kids.  A little bit older.  These teachers, not so interested, chatting among themselves.  So unlike all the other teachers I’ve met in the last few weeks.  It was a real mix.  The conversation turned unexpectedly serious.  Not like my other talks at all.  But it was a good thing.  And I think some of those kids will be thinking about some of the things I said for a long time.  Hopefully some of them will make different choices, different lives will spiral out in front of them, good lives, not lost ones.  I hope. 

Back on the subway.  Tea with Rebbecca and Cary in Rebbecca’s garden.  Peaceful.  Silences and conversation. 

Dinner.

To Type bookstore for the evening reading.  A beautiful bookstore.  A warm welcome.  Faces I remember from reading Gemma around this time last year.  Thank you to everyone involved.  It was a wonderful ending to my Toronto time. 

No wait.  The wonderful ending was the email that was waiting for me when I got home.  It was from Emily.  Now is that a perfect day or what?

Posted by Meg Tilly on Thursday, October 25, 2007 in Chewing the Fat

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