The non-writing life

Will is reading on the sofa and I am doing various busy work on the other one, so in case he feels inclined to toss a sentence or two my way, I’ll be here.  I can’t believe that after this Spring he won’t be living full-time with us anymore. 

I’ve read various investment blog tonight, The Big Picture, John Mauldin, Investment Postcards from Cape Town.  It seems like no sooner have I finished one when another one appears in my mailbox. 

And the problem is, that both The Big Picture and Investment Postcards have all these taster articles and if you find it interesting you can click on it and read the whole thing.  And the IPFCT guy,  Prieur du Plessis, also has started doing an addition to his blog that has a ton of really interesting, relevant to the economy, video interviews that he assimilates during the week and a lot of them are quite fasinating and so of course there goes another couple hours of my day.  Once he included a bunch of really great black and white films and clips from the crash of 1929 and the aftermath.  And then of course around Christmas he “elfed” himself and it was really funny seeing his serious head dancing disco. 

After viewing that I went to the site and elfed Will and Don and then we did all three of us dancing a trio.  It was fun.  We laughed our guts out and then had us do another dance. 

Anyway, I’ve been reading a lot of stuff lately.  And I mean a lot!  I even went to far as to read an e-book calledThe Hyperinflation Survival Guide just in case, down the road, the Fed isn’t able to unwind all this stimulus and liquidity that they are pumping into the money supply.  I know it’s a long shot, but I’m all about contingency plans.  A carry-over from my chaotic childhood.  I am hoping we won’t have hyper inflation, but just in case, I now know what I’ll need to do to keep up with it.  The book was written in the 80’s and made for pretty wild reading. 

Luckily, it was Martin Luther King day, an American holiday, so there was no Richard Russell today.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Richard Russell, but I getting to a tipping point with how much I can digest before I start to zone out. 

It will be nice when things in the world start calming down a bit.  Then I’ll probably get myself back to a nice comfortable, one or two a day.  And sometimes, if I’m busy with my writing, I’ll go a couple days or even a week, without reading a single one. 

Ah… That is the telling sentence. 

Yes, the economy and the political, social, moral repercussions make for fascinating, riveting, interesting, scary reading…

BUT… Now that I sort of know what I’m going to do, and I’m following my investment plan, and putting in the foundation for this next phase of my investment life, shouldn’t I be able to tear myself away from the drama and return to my writing desk?

The family’s finances are relatively safe.  Well, as safe as one can be, but really, who knows what is safe anymore?  My house is paid for.  No debt.  I have savings.  Shouldn’t I now be carving out a couple of hours a day to return to my writing?

Maybe.

I’m scared, I think.  To try writing again.  It’s like the longer I stay out of the water, the colder the memory of it gets in my head. 

The longest break I’ve taken from writing in the last eight years was two weeks and even then, I had to force myself to stay away for the whole two weeks because I was chomping at the bit to get back in.

Well… I haven’t worked on my manuscript for two and a half months!

I’m worried to go back to the manuscript I was working on, because this is my seventh draft and I was right near the end and I put a lot into it and now I am worried that it isn’t any good.  Maybe that’s why I’m not writing.  After working on it for all these years, trying all these different approaches to the material, what if my worry was confirmed and the manuscript did suck and the story was no good. 

Do I really want to know that?

I’m not sure I do.

Maybe it’s better to be wrapped up in the financial side of things for a while.  Exercise the analytical side of my brain.  I’m good at it.  And really, looking at it from a dollar prospective, I make way more handling my finances than I do from book sales etc.  And it’s interesting too.

The weird thing is the two things have reversed for me.  The writing feels like work and handling my stuff feels like a hobby.  It used to be the other way around.

Sigh.

You know, I’m really not being fair.  I’ll try again tomorrow, to go into my writing room.  I’ve already made a few half-hearted attempts and one serious one, but I got overwhelmed and fled.  Wish me luck.  And courage.  I’ll need it.

Posted by Meg Tilly on Monday, January 19, 2009 in Chewing the Fat

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