Rosie’s book

I’m very excited.  Rosie O’Donnell’s new book Celebrity Detox come out in bookstores tomorrow.  I’ve read a previous draft which I found very brave and honest.  She really nailed what the experience is like to find oneself suddenly famous. 

Personally, when it started happening to me, I found it terrifying.  I remember very clearly the first time someone recognized me from one of my films.  It was at San Vincente Foods 1982.  He was very nice, complimentary, but the idea that someone who I didn’t know, would know me, scared me.  I guess again, it goes back to my childhood, and how I kept myself safe by being a good hider when my step-dad was in a beating mood.  And then suddenly, I was famous and I couldn’t hide anymore.  I loved acting, but the famous part sucked.  Imagine.  You are pregnant with your first child and suffering from severe morning sickness, you are in a restaurant bathroom with throwing up and someone is banging on the bathroom stall, sliding paper and pen underneath for you to sign.  They can hear you throwing up, they know you are sick, but they don’t care because in their mind, you aren’t a person anymore.  You are a monkey in the zoo.  Just one of thousands of incidences that just boggled my mind.  Binoculars trained on the house, the bedroom, the bathroom?  What?!  Some people might say, “Well, why did you become an actress then?” An understandable question.  You see, I liked acting, thought I would try to make a living, I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would get leads in movies become recognizable.  I just liked diving into other people’s skins is all.  And if I had known what being famous was like and that it was going to happen to me I don’t know that I would have made the same choices. 

Rosie takes the mask off the cult of celebrity and generously lets us peer inside to the human.  It took a lot of courage for her to write this.  Even more to publish.  And I have to say, it moved me deeply.  I’m flying to Calgary to participate in WordFest and I’m going to buy her book to keep me company. 

I’m planning on blogging, but if I can’t figure out the hotel’s Internet situation (i.e. make it work) then you won’t be hearing from me for a few days. 

I have five events to do in five days and the big question is...do I have the foggiest idea what I’m going to wear?  Did I learn from my last near fiasco?  Of course not!  And I don’t have to even wait until 8:30 pm to start packing because today is Canadian Thanksgiving and I imagine all the shops are locked tight.  And to make matters even more dire, I received an Author’s Information Pack from Ian, (the lovely man who’s in charge of organizing this whole thing.) a couple of days ago, and there was a mention of media.  “ You can expect a fair number of television Cameras and news crews to be at the major venues, especially our official photographer and our major media sponsors (the CBC and the Calgary Herald) Eep!  So it won’t be just a school full of children, or some kindly white haired gentle readers who shall witness my lack of apparel finesse...No it shall be recorded, photographed for all of those people out there who were unable to attend WordFest, but still wanted to have a good laugh. 

And yet, what do I do?  Am I scurrying like a mad woman, throwing clothes by the armload onto my bed.  No.  I’m figuring I won’t be reading at one of the “major venues” They didn’t mention which ones were major.  And then of course, I have the old Mark-of-the-hiking-store-string trick in my back pocket.  So I’m set.  I’m good to go!  I’ve got all these outfits from days-gone-past that surely will fit now that I’m armed with my new weapon. 

It would make sense I suppose for me to have tried out the string trick before I started counting my clothing chickens.  Oh well.  I like to live dangerously!  Hee...hee...hee!

Hmm… I just read back over this blog.  I think it’s interesting how these two subjects (Ro’s book, Wordfest and my lack of preparation) are side by side.  I suppose how I deal with my fear and being public now, is by being me.  Refusing to act or be seen as anything other than who I am, foibles and all.  Because I have to tell you, when I walked away from being an actress, I thought that would be it, I would be able to finally disappear again.  So many new films, actors, but I hadn’t counted on Cable.  That the films would still be playing.  I had thought if I let my hair go grey, wore my glasses and wore undistinguished, disappearing clothes, no one would know it was me.  But people did, do.  So I’ve had to make my peace with it.  Allow people in, to see the real me, hence this website.  That way at least, hopefully, I become more of a person to people than a thing.  Because this strangers knowing me situation, is not going away.

Posted by Meg Tilly on Monday, October 08, 2007 in Chewing the Fat

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