moving on

The movers are here.  I have a sweater on because we have to have the front door open wide.  I might put on another.  Working on Big Muckle is impossible, because there are questions and what-not so I figure I’ll blog to you.  That way I can leap up at a moments notice if required. 

Last night again a moment of anger that evolved into sadness and a letting go.  But afterwards I felt fine.  Lighter.  It was hard taking all of my manuscripts out of the China Cabinet that has been in my life for the last 14 years.  Taking my writing out was hard, because I didn’t have anywhere to put them, as the bookcases from the Rosie money are in the process of being made.  It hurt my heart to place all these precious stacks of paper that represent my life, my insides and thoughts, books done and books to come, in piles on the floor.  I was worried that they would all get mixed up, and knocked over by the dogs and everything would be lost or destroyed. 

But of course they won’t.  They are still lying in their intact piles, up against the wall, waiting patiently.  And so shall I.  They have not merged and my Molly dog has been very sweet and careful.  I think she know somehow that these things are important to me.  I don’t know why I felt so overwhelmed and upset last night.

I think, as a matter of fact I shall put on that lovely cashmere scarf that Dave gave me for Christmas.  Be right back!

Ahh...now I’m nice and snug.  Not only that, I feel very loved.  He was smart and bought me a man’s one because “the women scarves were huge.” And you know what?  He was right.  This scarf is perfect for me.  Nice and warm and luxurious too!  I would put the long red cashmere gloves he gave me as well, but I think it might hinder my typing. 

I’m looking forward to this afternoon, when the movers have gone, taking all that stuff and history with them.  Because then it won’t be looming on the horizon.  It will be done.  And I will be able to focus on rebuilding the cozy nest that I had made for the family here.  I know I will be able to.  I just have to be patient.  It will happen.  And then I will be able to snuggle down into our life for good.

Posted by Meg Tilly on Wednesday, January 09, 2008 in Chewing the Fat

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