Final posting, much love, Meg

My dear bloggers,

I have made a decision to try and cut down on my computer time.  I find I am losing more and more of my precious life hours sitting in front of this screen, either blogging or reading financial news letters, and other people’s blogs.  Then there is the regular news that gobbles up more time, and I find myself reading about really horrible things, murders and suicides, and parents killing children when what I really want to be doing is to be finding a way to feel present in my own skin. 

I don’t want to be on my death bed, my life passing before my eyes and when I come to the last eight years (around the time I got on the Internet because my daughter was heading off to University) it is one huge blur of me pecking away at my computer, while the days flipped past.

It’s weird how it started.  For years I didn’t have an email.  I didn’t have my computer hooked up to the Internet.  I only used my computer for writing.  And now look at me, a large portion of my waking hours are squandered siting in front of a glowing screen.  And I feel undone, overwhelmed, by all the horrific news out there.  I feel like I want to stay in bed and not face the day.  I feel tired, burnt out.

And so today I start the great experiment.  When Don gets home I’m going to have him disconnect the Internet from my computer.

If someone wants to get in touch with me, they will have to call.  I much prefer talking on a walk, or over tea, or a yummy meal.  I even would rather talk on the telephone.  I shall check my email from Don’s computer on Sundays.  And if I decide to do a reading or something, I will post it on my events page at that time, but other than that, I’m going to hold off. 

I want to thank all of you who have come to visit with me.  I’ve really, really enjoyed it.  And am very touched by the enormous number of people who have taken a moment out of their day to share this last year and four months with me.  I have loved blogging.  It has made me feel not so alone in the world.  Like there is a whole cozy world of blog out there that I feel connected to.  Strangers who come to my readings and I can tell by the light in their eyes when they walk up to me, that they have read my blog, because they approach me like a friend.  Not a thing. 

Blogging has been a great gift for me.  I feel known by you.  I thank you for that.  And even though I won’t be writing on my blog, please know that I hold you in my heart and will always treasure this time that we’ve shared.  The midnight wakings, me creeping downstairs, turning on my computer and writing my thoughts to you.  The bluish glow of the computer screen, making a small halo of light in all the darkness of the house. 

Now I’m going to move on, unclench the tight grip this computer has over me and try to rediscover and enjoy other aspects of my life.  Things that I have let fall by the wayside.

It is time for me to simplify. 

Much love and affection, Meg xo

Posted by Meg Tilly on Saturday, January 31, 2009 in Chewing the Fat

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