endings and beginings

They always say “Out with the old and in with the new.” Well, for me this took on a literal sense.  The mover’s representative came this morning and I walked her around the house so she could see what was going to be leaving and what was going to be staying.  Some of these things are hard for my heart to let go of because there are memories attached to them.  When she left, Ken came into the kitchen to refill his cup of coffee.  “How are you?” he asked.  An innocent enough question to which I responded by bursting into tears, much to my embarrassment.  And bless Ken (he said, last night, that it was okay to put the “en” after the “K") and his sweet kind soul, he listened and we talked and he stayed with such patience and caring.  Provided such comfort that the sadness has passed and I am much better now.  And we have both returned to our writing rooms.  (He’s probably writing.  I’m blogging.  I’ll work on The Big Muckle when I’m done.)

It’s odd how things can take on a life of their own.  I think part of the sadness came from saying good-by to some things that were accumulated during a more challenging phase of my life.  It’s like part of me feels if I releases the attachment to the thing then I will lose the happy memories as well as the hard ones.  But that is the mistake.  The memories, of my children, my life, they are carried in my heart.  Not in the things and furniture that were part of the background decoration.  So for me to imbue them with that power, is silly. 

And the good thing is, after I’d finished my cry, I called the bookshelf maker and that’s underway.  I talked to the sofa place yesterday, so we should have those soon, and the other pieces we needed to fill in the gaps are arriving the day after the movers come.  And how lucky is it that I did that Porcupine screenplay for Rosie so I could buy this beautiful stuff.  And not only that...A BEAUTIFUL PAINTING’S COMING!  Eeeee!  I’m very excited.  This is all going to be fine.

Anyway, I’m not going to go into the details as to the who’s and the why’s.  I just wanted to mention it here, so when I read back over my blog I remember this day, because it is important for me not to forget what people are capable of.  And although I am going to miss some of this stuff.  And that’s all it is is stuff, I am hoping that where it is going is going to make a happier, cozier home for someone and that they will know and recognize the gift for what it is and give this stuff a good home and cherish and take care of it.

I like to wish all my blogger-friends the happiest of New Years.  And if at all possible put the maximum amount in your RSP or your IRA or whatever other retirement plan you have going.  And if you don’t have one...START ONE TODAY!  Much love to everybody, my family and friends and most especially my children, Emily, David and Will.  xxxooo

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! (I wish I knew how to do special effects because then I’d put all different coloured confetti falling down all over this blog.  But I don’t.  Sigh.  I guess you’ll just have to imagine it.  Shut your eyes and see if you can.  Okay, now imagine me dancing around, waving my arms over my head with a lit sparkler in my hand.  I am flipping my heels up and out and have a big smile on my face, and I’m yelling at the top of my lungs, “Haaaaappyyyyyy New Yearrrr!)

Posted by Meg Tilly on Monday, December 31, 2007 in Chewing the Fat

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