Dawna reveals all…

Ta...dah...ta...dah...(this is a drum roll,)...ta...dah...ta...dah!  And now presenting...MY FRIEND DAWNA!

“One of the best things about my dear friend, Meg is that she always challenges me to step outside my comfort level.  Her joie de vivre and sense of adventure have been a wonderful gift that enriches my life.  On many occasions I feel like she’s the Lucy and I’m the Ethel!  My first massage is a prime example of one of our escapades.

For Christmas my husband had given me a gift certificate for a massage.  Being rather prudish and tentative at the idea of someone actually seeing me naked and being paid to knead the various layers of excess fat on my body, I turned to Meg for reassurance.

“Don’t worry!” she announced.  “I will take care of everything.  You are in good hands.”
Meg, far more experienced in the world of massage than myself announced, “You must try the hot rock massage.  This is an excellent introduction into the world of massage.  It is a relaxing and low-key treatment that you will surely enjoy.  Leave everything to me.”

The idea of a hot rock massage appealed to me because no one was actually touching your body.  It was all done using basaltic rocks.  It all sounded rather clinical and proper.

The big day arrived and we when arrived at the spa, Meg had arranged for us to have rooms next to each other.  It was comforting to know she was there.  I removed my clothes (now soaked with nervous perspiration) and scurried under the sheets on the table.  The lights were dimmed and rain forest background music played softly in the background.  It surprised me that I was actually starting to relax.

Suddenly a vision appeared at the door.  Evidently this was to be my masseuse.  She began to wildly swoop around the room clanking two rocks together.  Down low to the floor and up to the ceiling.  “Release, release!” she cried.  “Release spirits, release!”

Never having experienced a massage before I thought that maybe this was something routine that happened with massages.  Meg would never steer me wrong.  Nonetheless I pulled the sheets up higher under my chin wondering what would happen next.

After bits of rocks were inserted between all of my toes, a larger boulder was placed on my stomach.  I was instructed that this location was the center of my consciousness and I should “release”.  I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to confess to something, have some kind of bodily function or what.  It was hard to do much of anything as the rock had fallen off my stomach and was pressing on my bladder.  I had other things on my mind.  Furthermore the sheet had slipped during all of these contortions and I was dangerously close to losing all coverage.

I kept thinking about Meg in the next room.  I had always known she was more adventurous than I was and wondered if this was just another day at the spa for her.  I was beginning to scan the room for the Candid Camera.

After a seeming eternity the massage concluded with a final clanging of rocks.  I scampered off the massage table and was dressed in no time flat.  I bolted from the room and met Meg in the hallway.  I wasn’t sure what I was going to say to her.  She was such a good friend and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings or ruin the feeling of tranquility that she may be experiencing.  I decided to say nothing.  Meg was unusually quiet herself.

It wasn’t until we had walked two city blocks that the silence was broken with hysterical laughter.  She had thought the whole thing was as weird as I did and was worried that I would never speak to her again!  Evidently we must have gotten a different hot rock massage than she usually had.  She was mortified!

It’s wonderful to have a friend you can really laugh with even after you have had a hot rock massage!  Since then I have had other massages but whenever I climb onto the table I can’t help but chuckle and think of Meg.”

AND THAT is my friend Dawna!

Oh, and for all of you nervous souls out there, do not let this deter you from attempting a Hot Rock Massage.  When done well, with out a great thumping of rocks upon rock and shrieks of “release all...(fill in the blanks, because apparently at this particular place we were supposed to release everything) a Hot Rocks Massage can be truly wonderful. 

Posted by Meg Tilly on Thursday, February 21, 2008 in Chewing the Fat

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