Christmas tree

We bought our Christmas tree today.  It was the fastest tree buying excursion I have ever been on. 

When we were little we would divide the family up into small groups, put on as many layers of clothes that we possibly could wear (and still be able to move our limbs) and then we would trudge out into the snow.  The cold winter air biting our faces, turning our cheeks and noses a rosy red.  We would hike for hours sometimes, all of us searching for the honor of choosing out the most beautiful Christmas tree ever seen. 

Once we found and agreed upon a tree, we would tie a bright ribbon around it so we wouldn’t get lost and the ribbon could be seen from far away.  Then we would race back home, full of giggles and excitement, our hearts exploding with joy.  So certain were we that our tree would certainly be the most beautiful tree of all. 

Then the whole family would go out with the saw and we would look at the trees and choose the best.  That part wasn’t as much fun.  There was some arguing.  It was hard to agree.  Some family members liked big bushy trees with an abundance of branches.  Others like the wispy ones.  The Charlie Brown Christmas looking ones, because they felt you could see the pretty Christmas ornaments better that way. 

Now me...of course I didn’t like the bushy ones or the sparse ones.  I liked the pretty ones, because I was no fool.  And the pretty ones were the trees with elegant draping arms, just right for showing off the fine ornaments and tinsel.  The ones that weren’t too bushy, or too sparse.  I like the trees that were beautiful and magical and everything a Christmas tree should be.  The one that whispered to me in excitement, “Look at me!  Choose me!  And all your Christmas dreams will come true!”

But they never chose my tree.  They never heard the whisper.  And I guess that’s why, some of our Christmases weren’t quite as happy as they could have been. 

But today, I didn’t have to tromp around the woods for hours, clambering up hillsides only to discover that what looked like the perfect tree had a big gaping hole at the back.  We drove to a Christmas tree lot, walked in, and there it was!  The most perfect tree! This never happens.  Even in a fancy Christmas tree lot you have to pull a lot of possible choices into a standing position, look at it from every angle, check out pretty much every tree in the place, until finally, you find the one.

Today, I walked right up to it.  It was towards the back of the lot.  It was the first one I touched and as I lay my hand on it, I got that magical feeling, and I knew.  I knew, but I was holding my breath too.  “Could you hold it honey?” I asked Don.  “I want to see what it looks like.” And I stepped back, and it was the happiest feeling.  The tree was perfect.  Just right.  And I knew in that moment, even though Emily and Will aren’t going to be here this year.  I knew that it would be a very nice Christmas and even though I’d be missing them, my heart would have gladness too.  And I knew that we would have a nice time with our friends flying in from far off places.  And we would drink wine and eat yummy food and laugh and maybe even turn the music up loud and dance like we imagine we used to , when we were young.  And maybe I will be able to convince them to come out with me and wander our neighbourhood for an hour or so, singing old time Christmas carols and la..la..la in the parts where no one remembers the words.  And David will come, on Christmas Day with his friend, so there will be stockings, because Santa still likes to come, even though they are grown. 

Yes, I will miss Emily and Will, but there is always the phone, and our hearts will be connected, even if our hands aren’t. 

Much love, Meg
xo

Posted by Meg Tilly on Wednesday, December 12, 2007 in Chewing the Fat

Page 1 of 1 pages