Ahh…

I just finished The Big Muckle.  I am printing it up right now.  The printer is singing it’s “I’m printing...It’s so good...I’m printing...It’s so good...” song and I am typing a blog to you.  I feel quite happy.  Replete.  Like that was a wonderful, very fulfilling, gentle ride.  I think we all need to write a book like this every now and then.  If I am able to find someone who wants to publish it, and people want to read it, I would like to write some more.  I liked writing this.  I had a good time.

I just went and picked up a stack of printed pages from the printer.  The pages were very warm in my fingers.  I’ve placed them on my manuscript writing desk so that there won’t be too many pages on the outputting tray.  I’m very hopeful about this one.  (For now anyway, talk to me in a week and maybe I’ll feel different.) Don’s going to read it over the weekend, with his red pen in hand, looking for typos and what-not.  Hmm...I just got a wave of nervousness.  Not because of Don, but because of what I have to do next.  Send it out.  Hmm.

I had to refill the paper tray.  It’s a good thing I recycle is all I have to say.  So much paper to print out a manuscript.

It was a busy day today.  Some of our new furniture arrived today.  How beautiful it looks.  I’m very happy. 

For the gentlemen who read this blog, you can cover your eyes now.  The next part is more of a woman thing.

Okay, ladies, I had to go for a mammogram today and the weird thing is, I wasn’t even nervous.  Even though I’d found a little pea sized lump in the lower part of my left breast.  I guess because my children are grown.  If it’s something, I’ll take care of it.  If it isn’t, why waste a few of lifes precious moments worrying about it.  It’s the sort of thing that I have no control over.  I remember when the children where young, Emily was only 12, Dave was 10 and little Will was 6 and something had shown up in my breast exam.  I went to see my physician, and when I explained and showed her, she made me go immediately to St. John’s hospital to get a mammogram.  I remember being beyond terrified on the ride over.  Who would raise my children?  Kept going over and over in my head.  I phoned Jenny on my car phone (everybody had them in LA) I couldn’t stop shaking I was so scared and the minute I heard her voice I started to cry.  And she was so kind and loving and reassuring.  When I got to the hospital, I found my way to the proper waiting room and I couldn’t have been there for more than three minutes when who should come running down the corridor but Jenny and Becky!  They must have flown on angel wings.  I had no idea they were coming.  And what a blessing it was, not to have to be brave alone.  Anyway, the very sight of the two of them, there in that hospital, I will never ever forget until the day I die.  And I remembered that day of so many years past, today, driving home from the appointment with Don in the rain.  And was filled with gratitude, not just for the memory that came flooding back, but also for how different I feel today.  Similar situation and yet, totally peaceful, not scared at all.  I was lucky all those years ago.  To have been given the gift to see my children safely grown.  Who could ask for more.

Posted by Meg Tilly on Thursday, January 10, 2008 in Chewing the Fat

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