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June 2009

diverging paths

Will has graduated. 

Such a mix of feelings.

His dad here.  Past and present all jumbled together. 

And then, there is the uncertain future.  Is this the end of tea and chats and the odd-and-awkward-but-weirdly-cozy blending of lives and families?

It feels like the end of an era. 

We are pretending that it’s just another visit, but it isn’t. 

A busy time

We found an apartment Emily loved, so hopefully, we’ll get it.  Fingers crossed.  I meet with the agent this morning. 

I’ve been working like a dog on the copy edits I received for Gemma.

Emily leaves for the airport this morning.  It’s been so lovely having her home.  Although, this project of hers is worrying me to death.  I try not to think of all that could go wrong.  Try to think about how this could really be a wonderful thing and that it will enhance and change the way she looks at life and at the wide variety of ways to live ones life.  Sort of like when I was acting, stepping into my characters skin, in living their lives, I would learn so much about my own.

Will has his last provincial exam this morning, in history.  He has been studying for days.  Really, really studying.  On his own.  Spread out on the sofa, piles of books and papers and notes.  Out on the balcony, daylight turning to dusk.  Up in his room.  I’m really proud of the effort he’s been putting into his finals this year.  All on his own.  Self-motivated.  I hope it pays off for him today. 

Then Don and I make the trek to our new little cottage on the beach, (yes, I sold the big house) and tomorrow we meet the movers and place furniture, unpack our mountains of boxes.  I have to leave mid-afternoon to do lung tests at the hospital, and then, back again, to unpack some more.

We’ve loved living in this Coal Harbour rental, walking to restaurants, the grocery store, long walks in Stanley park.  It’s been sort of live a vacation holiday, with the Boardwalk and boats bobbing right outside our window.  It’s been lovely, but now, I have to say, I’m ready to settle, move into our home, be surrounded by familiar things, sleep in our old bed with it’s soft comfortable sheets. 

We have Will’s confirmation, grad dinner and dance, then one more week in Vancouver and then we’re done.  Home sweet home.  Hopefully.  It’s always strange, when I make a move to somewhere new, unfamiliar.  I have all these hopes and dreams of this wonderful, creative, peaceful life, but who knows how it will really turn out.  Will we have nice neighbours?  Or the neighbours from hell?  Will it be beautiful and serene, with the waves gently lapping and an occasional sea gull’s cry, or will a neighbour have a dog that barks incessantly, all day and night so that sleep and writing is impossible? 

And then, what happens if Lorri, (my Coal Harbor neighbour and actually, we’ve only known each other for around a month now, but she is starting to be a really, really good friend, and I have these cautious, shy hopes that maybe it will be one of those rare, lifelong friendships) what happens if her mad-cap scheme comes to fruition?  Then what? 

And last but not least, can’t wrap up this blog without mentioning that last week I was in London, with my sister, Jennifer, cheering her on in Wallace Shawn’s new play, Grasses of a Thousand Colors.  Jenny was MAGNIFICENT!  I was sooooooo proud to sit out there in the audience, watching her character, live and breathe up there on the stage.  Her performance moved me greatly. 

I was in London for eight days and it flew.  We had so much fun, talking and eating food and shopping and meeting her friends, and going to her play.  Being backstage with her, breathing in the particular smells that theaters have.  Puttering around town.  It was so much fun.  And sitting here, typing to you, telling you about it, I feel surrounded with the magical glow of those eight days, the cozy comfort, puttering around her apartment, making tea, the after theater snacks of tasty English treats, when she Skyped Phil and I Skyped Don and Will.  Curling up on the little makeshift bed, Jenny, Miranda and Emily had in their dressing room, that had a brightly colored coverlet with what looked like little mirrors sewn in, but they couldn’t have been because it didn’t cut me. 

Jenny wanting me to take a short nap before the play, because I was really tired, but once I lay down, I couldn’t.  I felt like a little kid, being allowed to sleep in her mothers room.  The mystery of it.  The three women talking softly, putting on their makeup, getting ready for the show.  The anticipation of the evening to come, the audience, starting to arrive, the gearing up, and tiredness too, because every night they have three hours and twenty minutes to fill, and who knows what the audience will be like this night. 

No sleep was impossible.  I didn’t want to waste a moment of the experience with sleep, and this might sound strange, but one of the things that stays in my mind, that moved me the most was when Jenny wanted to make the little bed nice for me, I started to lay down and she said, “Wait!” took off the silk kimono, jacket she was wearing and draped it over the rather squashed white pillow that was rumpled in the corner.  “There,” she said, smoothing it with her hands, and I have never felt quite so loved as I did in that particular moment.

Emily’s craziness

Okay, now I know I said I wasn’t going to blog, but I had to share this with all of you.

My daughter, Emily has come up with a plan.  A crazy plan, that when she first told me what she was going to do, I really tried my best to talk her out of it.

No luck.

She’s going forward with it. 

Now, everybody I’ve talked about it with, thinks it’s a really interesting idea.  They, of course, are not Emily’s mother.

I could try to explain what her scheme is, but I think her website  does it better.

All you parents out there, will know just how my heart lurched when you read what she’s planning to do.  But when I stand back, away from the worry, I think it is a pretty cool idea too.

I am going to be in charge of her kick off week.  My sister, Jennifer is going to do a week and so is her kick-ass poker player boyfriend, Phil Laak.  Emily has a ton of very interesting people lined up and a few openings left. 

I’ve decided that I am going to make the best of a situation that I personally find quite scary and put my week to good purpose!  My week will probably be the week that Emily is well and truly happy to see the end of.  Be that as it may, here finally is an opportunity to schedule some of those pesky worrisome motherly things, that I am always trying to get my children to keep up with now that they have left home.  Heh…heh…heh! 

Hey, look, giving relatives, friends and total strangers the power to chose how you spend an entire week wasn’t MY idea! 

And right now, I have to say, I am feeling quite tricky.  I’ve already booked my daughter in for something on her first week that I’m sure she won’t be pleased about, but I am thrilled that this is finally going to be done.

And I’m supposed to give her a book to read during my week, and instead of a lovely, literary read, I have settled on a book, that she would NEVER read on her own, but is going to stand her in good stead, and is way more practical. 

I’m nervous about her Art As Life, but I have to say, I’m having fun figuring out how to spend her week.

Just hope she is still speaking to me by the end of it.